At Caley Water, as well as delivering wonderful sewage related solutions for clients and contractors, whilst providing a wonderful working environment for eager staff, we also have our secrets. Which, we will reveal once, per year. Today, on Halloween.
So firstly, our Director, is, in his spare time, a blood sucking vampire. A vampire with a conscious, he draws the line at drinking human blood, and prefers to suck the blood of beings with less emotional intelligence. Perhaps a dog for Christmas, but usually Count Baron von McKillme can be found scurrying around the darkened alleyways of Edinburgh’s streets looking for rats or rodents, from which to suck on. Both providing a service to pest control and also keeping his life force high, to allow him to co-run a successful environmental engineering business.
And then there’s our Managing Director, the one who started it all. Ever wondered why Caley Water never guarantees submissions the night of a full moon (fact check it, it’s true). That’s because the company is owned by a were-beast. Unless he’s caged in the office dungeon, Were-Nash runs amok through the streets of Edinburgh when the moon is full, causing all sorts of damage to those who come across him in this frenzied state, and no little damage to the reputational excellence of Caley Water.
Then there’s Frankenself. Caley’s first employee and pieced together from graduates whom performed well at interview but demanded too high a starting salary. Although Frankenself may not be the brightest tool in the box, his strength comes in handy when opening jars in the office that other staff members can’t manage. Frankenself also has an excellent attitude to work, and will willingly work endless hours for bread, water and some praise; a true gentle giant.
And the last of the secret keepers. It’s the accountant that only makes the occasional appearance when there is money to be shuffled around. Otherwise, he prefers to stay in bogs and deep marshlands, where he’s also capable of carrying out marshland eco surveys at an optimal price (interested parties please contact it on Grahamoftheblacklagoon@caleywater.com).
So what’s your secret readers? Third eye? Dead but still walking the earth? Cenobites looking for work? We treat all applicants fairly and equally, irrespective of their background. So if you’re looking for a career in modelling; get in touch today. Howwwwl!